So, as I haven’t been able to stop talking about Mari Kondo’s book the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up here I am once again talking about it. As you may remember from my first blog post or the about me page, I’m on a bit of a personal exploration journey. I don’t really know what my thing is.
I was introducing myself to a new coworker a month or two back and she asked me what I liked to do outside of work. Did I have any hobbies or was I part of any clubs? And my answer was I couldn’t remember. At the time we were working late on a nightmare of a project that just seemed to never end. I had to clarify to my coworker that my response actually wasn’t because I worked all the time but because I have had so many all-consuming personal transitions to deal with in the last two or more years.
I’ve Been Busy
About two and a half years ago my now husband and I got engaged. We knew we wanted a long engagement and after some research into the cost of a wedding we decided that since we had been talking about buying a house that we would do that before getting married. Better to overspend on a house and have to scrimp on a wedding than the other way around. My job,, at that point, was only 30 hours a week so I decided to pick up a part time retail job.
A couple months later we started house hunting in a very competitive seller’s market. We were eating, sleeping, and breathing the MLS (Minnesota List Serve). The first house we put in an offer for received 11 other offers. We eventually found a house. However, next we had to move into the house and settle into our house this took most of the summer (and is debatably still unfinished).
Then, unexpectedly, my father passed away in October. As his only child and him without a significant other and only living relative (other than me) in New Mexico most everything fell to me. I had lots of support, some really fantastic friends, and my aunt did what she could from afar. But At the end of the day it was me and my then fiancé. There were lots of extra legal obstacles to navigate and that took a lot of time. The whole probate process took more than a year to complete and the first 6 months were especially time consuming. Once the worst of the legal items were resolved wedding planning had to take precedent.
Then, the following September, we got MARRIED!! All through this time I was still working my part time retail job and my day job had finally moved me up to 40 hours a week. I quit the part time job shortly after the wedding, right before our honeymoon (we had about a 3 week gap between the wedding and honeymoon). Then my husband got pneumonia on our honeymoon.
I’ve Been Sick
Then I got Pneumonia. For those of you who have never had it pneumonia is terrible you feel so sick and so weak. Then after you are “better” your immune system is seriously compromised. My husband and I then proceeded to trade coughs and colds for the next two months. Christmas was the first time that we both felt healthy at the same time for more than 3 days. But even then, we were busy with Christmas and New Year’s and this vacation planned for the end of January.
Bottom line I kind of don’t remember what I used to do for fun, or in my spare time, I think before that I was a bit of a workaholic. At this point, while I love my job and the work that I do, I don’t necessarily want to be defined only by my work and have no hobbies or interests in my spare time.
Too Busy for Hobbies
Why am I bringing all this up, and what does it have to do with the KonMari method? For the very first thing you are supposed to do, you must know what you want. You must vividly imagine the life you want to have. The more vivid the better.
Well, I don’t really know what life I want to have or how to describe the life I want to have. For the most part I like the life I have. I just want to have more passion and interests in things outside of work. I want to be able to say I do this in my spare time, or I like to learn about that, or I take classes in this other thing when I am introducing myself to others. Or when people I haven’t seen in 6 months ask me what I’ve been up to I can say something more interesting than sitting on my couch and playing with my phone.
I want to be excited about life and energized about living. I don’t want to be so tired all the time. There is actually a rather long list of things that I don’t want for myself.
What I don’t Want
- To be solely defined by my work even though I love it
- To have to list my pastime as sitting on the couch staring at my phone
- Feelings of disappointment in what I accomplished on any given day (or rather what I didn’t accomplish)
- To go out to eat because of laziness
- To waste time and money shopping for stuff that doesn’t really make me happy
- Depression to creep back into my life
- To be at a loss when people ask me what my hobbies or interests are
- To feel bad around my friends who are so passionate about their lives, hobbies, and projects
- To look back and regret not doing more
- To always be a spectator
The harder list is the list of things I do want. Because they aren’t very specific.
So, What do I Want?
- To have something that is mine
- My home to feel both relaxing and rejuvenating
- To be more physically active
- More time outside
- To do something with my evenings
- More intentional reading
- To expose myself to new things
- Financial stability
- To be more appreciative
- To be more generous
So that’s what I’m after for now. I feel like it’s not very precise or vivid. But it does have some tangible, actionable, items that I feel I can, and am, making progress on. This blog is mine. We are making great progress on improving our home. This blog has given me things to do in my evenings and spare time outside of work. Simply sitting down and writing some gives me more energy to later start dinner or empty the dishwasher. Which, in turn, makes me feel accomplished and better about my day and myself.
By putting the Kindle app on my phone and downloading Mari Kondo’s book I have already started reading more. I’ve been trying more new things. I’ve also been doing a decent job of cooking more.
We got a crock pot for our wedding. And last night I finally made a pot roast that wasn’t dry and tough! We are well on our path towards financial stability, however there are things we could do to improve our situation.